Fear of Failure

Anyone else out there have a fear of failure? I have always had this problem.....I remember in elementary school having to do our class spelling bee. I was (and still am) a terrible speller (thankfully, now I have a spell check on my computer). I just knew that eventually I would embarrass myself by spelling something so ridiculously wrong that everyone would laugh at me. So, I came up with a plan. I decided to avoid the embarrassment by missing the first word on purpose. I told everyone in line that spelling bees were dumb and I didn't want to do it so I was going to miss the first word so that I could sit down and not have to participate.

I could give you a list of things that I have quit or not even started because I was afraid to try........because what if I did try my best and FAILED?! Would others laugh? Would they look at me different? Will they still love me?

There have been many times as a mother that I have felt like a failure. When parenting my RADlets I feel like I fail more than I succeed. The fact that one of my RADlets is living in a treatment facility and not at home with us, could be looked at as a failure.......it FEELS like failure.

I have to keep reminding myself that God has a different view of success than we do. Our failure and our weakness allow others to see His strength and success. If I knew I could handle parenting these special children on my own I wouldn't need Him. The fact that these children are healing and making progress is a credit to God not me! I am just the instument He is using.