I heard my son's voice today for the first time since he moved to a new treatment facility. He sounded so sad. I guess since this move was to a less restrictive, more home-like environment I thought that he would be happy. But he informed me today that his new freedoms are boring and he misses the staff from the old facility.
Mark Twain hit the nail on the head when he said "The only one that enjoys change is a wet baby". It doesn't matter if the change is good or bad....it is different and different is uncomfortable.....and uncomfortable doesn't feel safe.
Mark Lowrey says his favorite scripture is....."this too shall pass". If things aren't looking good for you right now..........this too shall pass. If things are going great for you right now..........this too shall pass. We may not like change, but that is the one thing in this life that we can count on.
I haven't heard my son sound that sad in a long time. It reminded me of the first time he had to be hospitalized. I was not prepared for how I would feel as a mother. It was heart-wrenching to see my 11 year old in the hospital gown, no glasses and tears running down his cheeks. I snapped a mental image of him in that moment just as the door between us was closed and locked.
So, today I have no long stories or words of wisdom I'm just a mom who's sad because her son is sad. Before I hung up the phone I told him to hang in there that it would get better. I know from my 42 years of experience with life that things will eventually get better, but this is a tuff life lesson for any 16 year old, especially one with attachment disorder.
Oh Julia,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear the heartache in your words. Praying for you guys right now.
How sad. I couldn't help but to think his sadness is good. I mean for him to miss the staff that sounds like attachment, and then for him to not be overjoyous of the freedoms, that sounds good. But what do I know. Just from what you said, it seems those sad thoughts could be good on a deeper level.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about change. Just like with all my excitement of moving to my new home, I wonder what that first night sleeping there will be like. It seems the first night sleeping in a different home is so odd, even if its a home that's long been desired. Odd it is, how change affects us, good and bad.
A little too close to home for me today, so I'll be sad with you. :.) Praying for you too!
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