Ask

Ask and it will be given to you;

seek and you will find;

knock and the door will be opened to you.

Matt. 7:7

You do not have because you do not ask God.

James 4: 2b

Ask. It doesn't sound like a hard thing to do. People do it all the time. If you want something, ask. If you need something, just ask. It's not rocket science. So, why is it so hard for my children?

The only answer I can come up with is.....control. When you ask someone for something, you are giving them control. You are giving them the opportunity to say, "No". They are in control of if you get what you want or need and when you get it. You are admitting that the person you are asking has authority over you....that they have the control.

RADlets have issues with control. They want to be in control of everything because they feel they can't trust anyone. For our kids this came about because of neglect. In the first few years of their lives they had needs that weren't met by the adults that were supposed to be caring for them. My children ended up having to meet their own needs. They soon learned that they couldn't trust adults. Even now after almost six years of living in this family and having loving parents that do take care of their needs, there are times when my kids revert back to their RAD behaiors....like when they are scared or nervous.

This has been happening a lot recently with one of our RADlets. She gets sad or upset when things change (like an older brother going to college or mom taking a weekend to go to a woman's retreat) but doesn't know how to voice what she is feeling so she acts out. One of the first things we begin to notice is that she begins to do things without asking. This happens especially when mom is gone and her teenage sisters are in charge. Guess I can understand that to some extent....I hated it when my sister was in charge and I wasn't even a RADlet.

Guess this leads me back to one of my first posts about being God's RADlets. How many times do we try to figure things out on our own without asking God? I know I do it all the time. I intend to ask God. Sometimes I even tell other people that I am going to ask God. But then I end up trying to work it out myself. Asking God seems to be a last resort.

Does that mean that I have control issues? Maybe. But I know, that I know, that I know, that God is ultimately in control of me, my family, this world and the next. He is the creator; I am only the created. So, I must go now and ask God what he wants for me and what I should do for Him tomorrow.