The Writing on the Walls

Our oldest adopted child was adopted from foster care at age 10. As you can imagine he came to us with tons of baggage. So, when he began taking things from other people in the house, I wasn't surprised but I wanted to understand why he took things. He really didn't need to take things now, all his needs were provided for and he had things of his own like music players and toys. I soon learned that this was simply a coping mechanism that he uses when he gets stress.


As humans we find all kinds of ways to deal with the stress in our life. Some choose things like alcohol or drugs. Some choose some more socially acceptable methods like eating, shopping, watching TV, playing video games or hobbies. Some of these are healthy, some are not. But my son, for some reason, felt less stressed if he was plotting, stealing and hiding the things from us.


When he would take something we would tell him that what he took was no big deal........it's a thing that is replaceable. To us the big deal was the honesty and trust we needed from him. We would tell him that he needed practice in telling the truth and try to get him to confess. Most of the time this only led to a stand off between parents and child (probably not the best parenting technique, but we learn as we go). One stand off lasted days upon days upon days. Finally, when he returned what he'd taken, I handed it back to him and said, "Here, you can have it." He didn't take it from me so I sat it in a prominent place in his room and picked up a pen to write something on his wall. (I can hear the collective gasp from both of you who read this blog regularly) He was as puzzled as you and watching me with his mouth open. I wrote in large dark letters........."THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE!!!!!"


That was not the only time I wrote on his wall. I wrote a personalized version of Jn 3:16 there so he would know that and understand that Jesus loves him. I wrote Jer 29:11 there so he would be reminded that God has a plan for his life....that includes hope! Every time a scripture applied to something that happened and I wanted him to remember it........I wrote it on his wall. By the time he moved from that room there were probably a dozen or more verses written graffiti style on his walls.


My son is changing rooms again next Friday and this treatment facility will allow him to decorate. I know that they would never allow writing on the walls but I am thinking how I can get the scriptures up where he will see them and read them. I'm thinking the other kids and I will be making a lot of posters for him to hang in his room.


Psalms tells us to hide God's word in our heart and if my son won't open a book to read it and get it into his heart..........maybe he will read the writing on the walls!!