Lord of Lords

Although, I am not very good at it, I like to write music. I have been doing it since I was a teen, just as a way of expressing myself. Most of the time these songs lay in the back of my mind, hidden behind the to-do lists that are ever present.....that is until something happens that brings the lyrics to the front of my thoughts. Since most of my songs are about God this can prove to be a good thing.


Lately this song has been on my mind. So I thought I'd share.

Lord of Lords

Sometimes I feel all alone

No one's there; no one seems to care

The people I depended on

Let me down again; they walked away

BUT you are the Lord of Lords,

Creator of all things...still You care for me

You know my thoughts, I can not hide from You

You are the King of Kings

and still have time to hear when I pray

You sent Jesus to die to show how You care

Sometimes I think You test me

Take away the people that I'm leaning on

To show me all I need is You

You're the Rock I should stand upon

'Cause You are the Lord of Lords,

Creator of all things...You're my strength

In my weakness You become so strong

You are the King of Kings

And always there in good and in bad

You're in me; I am in You; We are one

Just Do It

A liquor store near our house has a sign out front that changes on a regular basis. It has funny quips and semi wise sayings that we read (then explain) to the children as we drive past. Last week the "Beer Sign" (as the kids call it) had a saying that made me really stop and think. It said......."A terrible thing happened last night......nothing."


Well, I guess this "terrible thing" has been happening to me for the last 10 days. I am struggling emotionally and have been doing ......nothing.

Now, don't call CPS on me. I have done all the necessities----fed the kids, gotten them to the places they needed to be, given them school assignments, graded their school assignments, put them to bed at a decent hour etc.....

But I find myself napping in the afternoons, sitting in front of the TV in the evenings not even really watching, not doing the normal things I enjoy (like blogging). Even wishing the kids soccer game would be canceled or that I could find an excuse to get out of taking them to karate.

Our pastor is preaching a sermon series based on the book "One Month to Live" by Kerry Shook. This week we are reading and talking about leaving a legacy. That is done by living intentionally.........something I haven't been doing lately.

I need to intentionally spend time with the kids playing and reading and talking.....even when I'd rather be napping. I need to make myself interact with friends and colleagues in the evenings not sitting in front of the TV. If the soccer game is cancelled I need to play Wii with the kids to help them not be so upset. I need to do karate with them.....it will be good for my body and my relationship with my daughter.

OK, now I see what I must do,the question is....How do I get motivated?!!!?!!!

Wish I had some great answers on that one but I don't. Maybe Nike had it right when they said.....JUST DO IT!

Prayer Meeting

Not too long ago I blogged about how difficult it is for me to open up to others in a group setting because most people don't know how to react to what I have to share. They give me the "deer in the headlight look" and do the "push back".

But last week, I found support from a group of moms that was very unexpected....but awesome!!

It was a Mom's night out....coffee at a friend's house. I wasn't extremely excited about it but I knew I was expected to be there...so I went. I'm sooo glad I did!

I was feeling a little down and not very open at all. Guess I was having a bit of a "pity party", but once I got there, had a cup of coffee and began to laugh with the ladies, I felt better.

I sat around the table with four other ladies (and one sweet little baby:) drinking coffee and eating cookies. One moment we were laughing 'til tears were rolling down our cheeks and the next, the conversation turned serious. Everyone was giving their opinions about the economy and way the nation seems to be going downhill, even sharing how God is using them to change things.

Well, at that point I began to open up and share. Instead of being stared at, one of the ladies looked me in the eye and said, "How would you like people to react to you when they hear about your family?" I began to cry. No one has ever, EVER asked me that! I wasn't at all sure what to say. I took a minute to think about it. In the end I just said that we needed prayer and acceptance. Maybe not in those words but that's what it boils down to.

I don't want to feel like an outcast. I don't want to feel like people are talking about our family in whispers when we pass. I don't want people to feel like they can't ask me how things are going. And I don't want to see that disapproving look in the eyes of someone who has just found out about our struggles.

Before I was even able to stop crying, someone suggested that we pray right then and right there. And let me tell you these ladies know how to pray!! I haven't been prayed for like that in years (if ever).

I left feeling uplifted and like I had others walking along side me.....even though they admittedly don't know first hand how I feel or what I'm going through. They are just willing to accept me and pray for me. I can't tell you what that means.