Have you ever been in a situation where you've prayed for direction and thought you had the answer from God only to find out that it's not? Have you ever waited on God to open doors then found one cracked open only to have it slam in your face when you tried to open it further? Have you had to wait years on God to show up in a situation and show you which way to turn?
Well, that's where we are now. We are waiting. We've been waiting for over three years now. Waiting on a job, waiting to see if we need to move, waiting on a placement for our son, waiting on my husband to finish a masters program, waiting on a better financial situation, waiting on our oldest to get it together, waiting on therapy, waiting to see if life will get any easier for us. It hasn't gotten easier. If anything the waiting has added stress.
I want to be one of those Christians that can just give it to God and not stress over it and I try. Praise God for His mercy and grace to forgive me again and again as I try to fix the problems and worry over the details. I am working on letting go and letting God handle it..........it's a process.
What I have figured out over the years is that God is still good and His timing is perfect!! He sees the big pictures and knows the ending to our story. He knows when to call in the cavalry and when to let us struggle. He know what we still need to learn through this situation. And He knows what will best bring Him glory and lead others to Him.
Sometimes others are lead to God by seeing the miracles and big things God does. But other times people are more likely to come to Him by seeing how Christians are able to praise God in bad situations. I'm trying to be the one who points others towards Christ as they see me struggle and still hold on to Him. From my standpoint it would be soooo much easier and better to have God show up and miraculously move these mountains in my life but however He is most glorified. I am willing.
I feel a bit guilty being so dramatic. My story is not a pretty one but I know it could be much worse and that there are many other Christians suffering more than me. There are those who are in danger of losing their life because they follow Christ and live in jeopardy every day. There are those who are living in an abusive situation or living with a debilitating disease or those who are homeless and struggling to just find food for themselves and their families.
Today I will again give my situation to God to take care of and try not to stress. Maybe tomorrow is the day God will open the door to a new and better future for me and my family.