As I left to do an errand this morning I took my five year old with me and instructed the others to clean the house while I was gone. When I returned I found the children watching a movie and the house.....well, it was better but not totally clean. I asked my girls if they did their very best work on cleaning the house or if they did just enough to get by. They said they did just enough and seemed to think that they didn't need to do anymore. I reminded them of Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." Then I asked them if Jesus were coming to our house in the flesh would the house be clean enough. I got some silent stares.....hope that means they got it.
OK, so, those of you who know me well, are probably asking the same question my children asked when I told them to clean the house....."Who's coming over?" Today it was a therapist to talk with us about our RADlets escalating behaviors, which is the real reason the girls didn't want to clean the house. They are tired of social workers and therapists coming to the house interrupting our day.
I like this therapist, she seems to know what she's talking about. We've found that is not always the case with therapists. She also considers the fact that we know our son better than she does, so she asks us questions and listens to the answers.
Today she gave us a compliment that I found hard to take. She praised our parenting. Right now I don't feel like a great parent. I feel like I am just doing enough to get by. She, however, sees things differently. She compares us to other parents she's worked with and she is amazed. She tells us that many other parents would have just given up on a RADlet like ours.
I have to admit that I have felt like giving up on our oldest RADlet but children are not disposable....so, I hang in there and try again. That shouldn't make me an amazing parent, that should be the norm for parenting. I don't feel like we are doing anything spectacular.....just being a parent.
I am sooooo glad that God is an amazing Father and hasn't given up on me. I don't believe he has given up on my RADlet either. At any point if my son decides to reach out....I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt the God will be there for him, running to him like the Father of the prodigal.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
To those of you who prayed for us last week as we faced court with our RADlet....Thank You!! That was one of those things we never imagined doing as a parent, and yet we felt a great sense of peace. I know that was God answering prayer.
We were given a gift in the court room that day....a suspended sentence and probation. I just hope our son sees it the same way and uses this opportunity for all it's worth.
Things would have been so different for him if......
if his birth parents would have done their job
if the system would have put them in appropriate foster homes
if the foster parents treated him with the same respect as their own children
if the therapists would have recognized his RAD earlier
Remembering where my children have come from still angers me. RAD is a horrible thing to have to deal with. It is easy to prevent but oh, so hard to cure. So, tonight work on a little RAD prevention for me. If you have children, laugh with them, hug 'em, kiss 'em and talk to them!! But you probably already do that don't you:)
We were given a gift in the court room that day....a suspended sentence and probation. I just hope our son sees it the same way and uses this opportunity for all it's worth.
Things would have been so different for him if......
if his birth parents would have done their job
if the system would have put them in appropriate foster homes
if the foster parents treated him with the same respect as their own children
if the therapists would have recognized his RAD earlier
Remembering where my children have come from still angers me. RAD is a horrible thing to have to deal with. It is easy to prevent but oh, so hard to cure. So, tonight work on a little RAD prevention for me. If you have children, laugh with them, hug 'em, kiss 'em and talk to them!! But you probably already do that don't you:)
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Stress and Mowing
I was push mowing the yard yesterday, something I don't do often now that I have teens. As I was mowing I noticed something......it was quiet (except for the sound of the engine), no kids yelling, no phone ringing, no beeps telling me laundry was done or dinner was ready or that I had a text. Oddly enough it was pretty peaceful. I was alone with my thoughts and prayers.
My thoughts took me back to another time when things were more simple. A time when my decisions and mistakes didn't affect quite so many people. A time when my stress was a little less. A time when I was the teen and not the parent of a teen.
I know I gave my parents a hard time about doing the yard but, truth be told, I kinda liked it. It was a time I could think and pray. I began to talk to my Creator and sing praise songs as I walked the yard. It was a good time with God. After a while my parents began to notice a change in my attitude. Spending so much time with God had made me more like Him. Pretty Amazing!!
Fast forward many years to when my husband and I first adopted our sibling group of four. We went from a family of five to a family of nine overnight and our house was in chaos. I tried to make sure it was organized chaos but honestly that didn't happen very often. On those occasions that the stress of life got too much, weather permitting, I would get on our riding lawn tractor and mow our two acres. It reconnected me with God and brought me back to a peaceful state.
I'm glad I got the opportunity to spend that extra time with God yesterday. This week holds more stress than most. We have to appear in court with our RADlet. It is good that I was able to do something that could get me to that peaceful state before my stress levels got out-of-hand. Could it be that I have learned a thing or two through the years?
My thoughts took me back to another time when things were more simple. A time when my decisions and mistakes didn't affect quite so many people. A time when my stress was a little less. A time when I was the teen and not the parent of a teen.
I know I gave my parents a hard time about doing the yard but, truth be told, I kinda liked it. It was a time I could think and pray. I began to talk to my Creator and sing praise songs as I walked the yard. It was a good time with God. After a while my parents began to notice a change in my attitude. Spending so much time with God had made me more like Him. Pretty Amazing!!
Fast forward many years to when my husband and I first adopted our sibling group of four. We went from a family of five to a family of nine overnight and our house was in chaos. I tried to make sure it was organized chaos but honestly that didn't happen very often. On those occasions that the stress of life got too much, weather permitting, I would get on our riding lawn tractor and mow our two acres. It reconnected me with God and brought me back to a peaceful state.
I'm glad I got the opportunity to spend that extra time with God yesterday. This week holds more stress than most. We have to appear in court with our RADlet. It is good that I was able to do something that could get me to that peaceful state before my stress levels got out-of-hand. Could it be that I have learned a thing or two through the years?
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