As I left to do an errand this morning I took my five year old with me and instructed the others to clean the house while I was gone. When I returned I found the children watching a movie and the house.....well, it was better but not totally clean. I asked my girls if they did their very best work on cleaning the house or if they did just enough to get by. They said they did just enough and seemed to think that they didn't need to do anymore. I reminded them of Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." Then I asked them if Jesus were coming to our house in the flesh would the house be clean enough. I got some silent stares.....hope that means they got it.
OK, so, those of you who know me well, are probably asking the same question my children asked when I told them to clean the house....."Who's coming over?" Today it was a therapist to talk with us about our RADlets escalating behaviors, which is the real reason the girls didn't want to clean the house. They are tired of social workers and therapists coming to the house interrupting our day.
I like this therapist, she seems to know what she's talking about. We've found that is not always the case with therapists. She also considers the fact that we know our son better than she does, so she asks us questions and listens to the answers.
Today she gave us a compliment that I found hard to take. She praised our parenting. Right now I don't feel like a great parent. I feel like I am just doing enough to get by. She, however, sees things differently. She compares us to other parents she's worked with and she is amazed. She tells us that many other parents would have just given up on a RADlet like ours.
I have to admit that I have felt like giving up on our oldest RADlet but children are not disposable....so, I hang in there and try again. That shouldn't make me an amazing parent, that should be the norm for parenting. I don't feel like we are doing anything spectacular.....just being a parent.
I am sooooo glad that God is an amazing Father and hasn't given up on me. I don't believe he has given up on my RADlet either. At any point if my son decides to reach out....I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt the God will be there for him, running to him like the Father of the prodigal.
I think I like this therapist too, you are good parents! And I must remember to remind myself and kids of that verse.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree, Julia, but I also completely understand how you feel. When I was a foster parent they started "training" all their new CPS employees by coming to my house. When I finally asked why, they said it was because we were their very best foster parents. I looked around and thought, "Wow. That is totally SAD!"
ReplyDeleteI love the "Children are not disposable" comment! I'm going to repeat that to myself!